stuff

i don't belive in sudden changes, even seemingly sudden changes are prompted by a lot of background, nothing is ever trully spontateouse and anything that is slowely readjusts, this is arguably absurdly broad but i am trying to apply it to different parts of life, it applies to civilzations, cultures, and of course personal life, perhaps the most famous formulation of this idea is Aristotle's Golden Mean, the idea of everything in moderation, this idea existed in many different forms in many different views of life, the stoics to which i feel most of a kindred, belived in an inner sense of moderadiot as opposed to our actions, we can do whatever we want as long as we are able to undergo internal calm or whatever the or whatever the word they used was, i agree that as long as we have an internal calm we can do whatever the hell we want if it gets us off heel it is wrong, if we feel alieanted from ourself it is wrong, mental illness is not wrong because society does not accept the behaviors of the ill but it is when they are not at peace with themselves

there is that quote in my profile from hesse which was meant to describe people later in life but i feel it applies to me as well, as do many angsty teens, no matter how much you learn you change the scenery there is the internal facet that ahs to be dealt with differently and none of that stuff matters as long as the internal stuff is in order (stoics), i had a friend that moed to settle for a year because he was in a rut but it wasn't until he found his fiance, in upstate ny where he was originally living, did he come out of that rut, its not a matter of where you move what you see or what you learn that will bring peace real peace to yourself, but its how you approach those things, how you take care of the internal world, and in turn that will color everything external

i like to travel alone because other people slow me down and i have to put what i want second, but perhaps i am wrong in dismissing people so quickly, thing only seem real when you tell them to someone else so that they have some existence outside of yourself, this is the type of bullshit that i laugh when i read because it is bullshit, its not something you write about but simply something you come to realize, perphase because i am feeling a bit pretentious its like a zen saying that you don't get until you do